Kick-Ass: The title really says it all

Let’s play a game: In a line or two, I’m going to give you two quotes.

Try to figure out which was uttered by American war hero George S. Patton, and which is a line straight out of director Matthew Vaughan’s hotly anticipated comic adaptation Kick-Ass:

“Battle is an orgy of disorder.”

“Fuck this shit. I’m getting the bazooka.”

If you guessed the latter is attributable to General Patton... God bless your brain chemistry.

But in all seriousness, the most scintillating, deftly staged action sequences in Kick-Ass can be aptly (and affectionately) described as “orgies of disorder.” Where to begin? The sloppy convenience store parking lot intervention. The lumber warehouse inferno. The blade-centric realization of the drug dealers’ after-school nightmare. The John Woo-type revenge spree of the formidable Hit-Girl.

These are just some examples of the tightly choreographed, exquisitely blood-swamped and colorful set pieces generously doled out during Kick-Ass’s almost too-short running time of 117 minutes.

But for those interested in more than just the gore, allow me to run down some story bullet points as fast as I can:

Dave Lizewski (played by Aaron Johnson) is an ordinary, nerdy high schooler who can’t get a date and is frustrated with society’s overall sluggishness when it comes to combating street thugs. He creates his superhero alter ego Kick-Ass to fight crime like an amateur. Damon Macready and his pre-teen daughter Mindy (Nicolas Cage and Chloë Grace Moretz, respectively) have a personal vendetta against a certain drug-peddling criminal syndicate. They form the father-daughter duo of Big Daddy and Hit-Girl. Consequently, loads of people die, YouTube is buzzing with fan footage, young love is found, and organized crime doesn’t approve.

The plot summary may not seem like much, but the most pleasantly surprising aspect of Kick-Ass actually lies in its emotional and dramatic depth. The trailers and marketing would have you believe the movie is wall-to-wall uncalled-for slaughter and snappy streams of four-letter words, flippantly performed with wicked efficiency by kids barely old enough to start applying to safety schools. However, the film is loaded with many chuckle-free minutes that offer both rousing commentary and unsmiling, sustained intensity. 

When Kick-Ass makes his inaugural rescue, one of the assailants asks him why he would jeopardize his life for a complete stranger. His response: “Three assholes laying into one guy while everyone else watches? And you wanna know what’s wrong with me? Yeah, I’d rather die, so bring it on!” I have to admit I found this oddly inspiring and free of the usual comic book cheap-shot sentimentality. 

Furthermore, a pivotal torture and death scene (elaborating any more would spoil a sizeable chunk of the film) is soaked with a strangely operatic tone and a moving, tragic element of loss and indissoluble love, compelling the viewer to care more about some of these oddball characters any more than we ever thought we would. 

Obviously, a movie of such quirks and the near-antisocial imagining of vulgar, mass murdering children would be stranded in the middle of outright nowhere without capable actors. While Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse (as the suspicious sidekick Red Mist), and Lyndsy Fonseca (as Dave’s goodhearted love interest Katie) all provide the requisite doses of humor, fear, doubt, and offbeat passion, the lion’s share of the praise should be heaped upon the players of the father-daughter twosome. 

There’s no savory way to put this: the hugely promising actress Chloë Moretz is going to be uncommonly, exceedingly ravishing in either three or five years’ time (depending on which state you live in). As Hit-Girl, Moretz somehow succeeds in making words like “motherfucker” and “cunts” sound endearing and convincingly non-gimmicky. Her early-bird maturity (the kid actress was twelve years old at the time of filming) and practiced restraint shine through to create a scarred, crass femme-fatale-in-pupa-stage persona. And as Big Daddy, Nicolas Cage is an event all by himself. Even with the simplest vocal tic or swiftest anxious stare, Cage delivers a performance of high wit and shrouded grief. And with his Oscar-nod-worthy performance in Werner Herzog’s Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans in 2009, Kick-Ass, and this summer’s well cast kids’ flick The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Cage is now on something of a creative comeback.

All in all, this latest comic adaptation for adults is madly, dangerously, and intoxicatingly alive on a super-heroic oomph that would make Captain Atom get all crimson in the face.